8 guaranteed ways to fail as a blogger

In the extremely competitive world of blogging, there exist some rebels who will do everything they can to ensure that their blog isn’t successful. After years of carefully studying and practicing some of their habits, I bring to you 8 tips you can use to guarantee that your blog doesn’t go the places it could otherwise go!

Because, when it’s just a hobby, why take it seriously?

-Me

1. Don’t read

Reading is so passive! Why bother learning from others when you have your own ideas that millions have already had and shared and your own unique style that helps you frame sentences like a two year old?

Pro tip: Don’t even read your own work once it’s written. Editing is for the weak!

reading on kindle, colorful couch

2. Focus on traffic rather than content

Have you heard of that famous blogger that everyone loves, who consistently used click-bait titles to get people to read her posts which actually offered zero value?

I haven’t either.

Definitely sounds like a fantastic way to ensure that your blog doesn’t grow!

3. Don’t have a consistent writing schedule

Scheduling time to do something? Putting reminders on your calendar? What are you, a CEO?

What happened to good old writing when inspiration strikes (once a year)? Let’s do things that way. We don’t want the responsibilities that come with building a brand, please!

Laptop with blog, habit tracker, mountain in the background

4. Constantly compare yourself to others

…so you can demotivate and upset yourself just enough to ensure that you cry yourself to bed with an empty vodka bottle lying beside you can’t create anything meaningful for the day. After all, how can you let your mind stay positive and clear? You’re running the risk of having too many good ideas to write about!

5. Forget your purpose

Yeah, yeah, everyone knows that you started your blog because you felt you had information that could benefit or motivate your readers in some way. Lame!

Did you know that you could get free products shipped to you if you agree to write them a good review before you even try their stuff? Did you know that you can get paid by a hotel if you sell them to your purchased followers on Instagram, even though you found bedbugs when you stayed there and know you’ll never go back?

Who wants to add value? Show me where the money is at!

blogging and working on a laptop near a stream

6. Wait till you have all the right gear

Are you even a blogger if you don’t have the latest Macbook? While you’re at it, don’t forget to buy that lightweight DSLR fitted with the most expensive lens just to keep up with the image.

Then go looking for a coffee mug shaped like a butterfly, a journal with your name printed on it, and a pen that writes in exactly your favorite shade of green. Get creative (this is a creative field, after all) and try to find new things you don’t already have that you absolutely don’t need! It is important that you actually don’t start writing anything until your setup is complete.

Don’t underestimate the power of chasing perfection to indefinitely put writing off. Truly a game changer!

7. Wait until you find your niche

I know that identifying a niche could actually be good for your blog, but hear me out on this one. I’m not trying to mislead you, I promise.

What if we made this technique work in our interest (and therefore against our blog)?

Don’t publish anything while trying to discover something that works for you and also aligns with your passion. Instead, wait until the perfect, shiny, untouched idea comes to you on its own. Block out all thoughts you have, put away all research, and just wait. If you do come up with something, quickly dismiss the idea as too boring or too mainstream. Before you realize it, you would’ve successfully thwarted any chance of having a blog at all!

working and blogging on laptop with cottage and sea background

8. Surround yourself with negative people

If you already know mean people, people who gossip a lot, and people who get jealous easily, then you’re in total luck! If you don’t know anyone that fits the bill, try to find such people as soon as you can.

They’re the ones that can help keep your creativity and inspiration in check. They’re the ones that’ll devour all your time with their drama and opinions about other people. They’re the ones that will ensure that you no longer enjoy writing because you’re so worried about what they’ll think and say about your work. And always remember – their opinions matter to you! A lot!

Surround yourself with such people, and you’ll be so proud of how your blogging ideas never see the light of day!

If you found any of these ideas useful, do share them with your friends! And please let me know if you have other ideas that can help – I seem to be out of control and unable to stop myself from publishing this one!

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